Making a Difference the Starfish Way

     For this post, I want to share a letter I wrote for The Circle (the student newspaper of Marist College) during my last week as Student Body President. It addresses the concept of “making a difference:” 

     Last summer, I had the privilege of attending freshmen orientation and meeting the Marist Class of 2015 before their first day of college. Everyday began with an amazing video put together by the First Year Programs staff that helped give the newest members of the Marist community an idea of what college was all about. The video ended with a few lines that read, “Life doesn’t last forever. Neither does college. Make the best of both. Make a difference at Marist.”
     But what does “make a difference” exactly mean? For those who know me well, they would say I am a big believer in the “Starfish Poem.” In short, the “Starfish Poem” talks about how everyone can make a difference to the world, no matter how big or how small that difference may be [note: see below for a full text of the poem]. The idea is that, if everyone helps out a little, we can accomplish a lot as a whole. I think this poem relates perfectly back to our students and Student Government.
     You see, people often think that you need to win a major election or have a big, fancy title to make a difference. Don’t get me wrong: Student Government, in my opinion, has done some amazing things this year. From Zip Cars to the emergency texting notification systems, new ATMs around campus to discounted taxi rides; I feel that we have done a lot to push Marist forward. Truthfully, though, these aren’t the “differences” that make Marist the place it is. The things I am talking about – the differences I see on a daily basis – are from the people who go out of their way to help another out in any way possible. These people stay up late to help their friend with a difficult assignment. These people help pick up a friend who is having a bad day. These are the people who make a difference at Marist every single day, and although they seldom get any recognition or credit for what they do, they are the people that make Marist a true community.
     In closing, I am extremely humbled and honored to have had the chance to serve as your student body president this past year. I want to thank all of the students, administrators, faculty, and staff that have helped me out so much this past year; I cannot thank you enough for everything you do for this school. And to all of my amazing friends –you all know who you are –you personally have made a difference to me in more ways than you probably know. I am going to miss Marist College immensely when I graduate in a short 8 weeks, but the memories and friendships I have made here will last forever. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read this, God Bless and Go Red Foxes!

The Starfish Poem

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing.
He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day he was walking along the shore.
As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer.
He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day.
So he began to walk faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.
As he got closer he called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?”
The young man paused, looked up and replied, “Why, throwing starfish in the ocean.”
“I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?”
The boy responded, “You see, the sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”
The confused man thought for a second, and replied, “But, young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and thousands of starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!”
The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish, and said “for this one,” as he threw another starfish into the sea,
“It made a difference.”

Keep a PMA…today!

     Everyone has someone in their life that always cheers them up, no matter what kind of mood they are in. I am fortunate to have several people like that, but the story I want to share today is about my friend Steve Townsend. Steve is one of those people that can make your day, even when he is 300 miles away (literally). Steve offered me some great advice throughout my college career, but the best advice he gave was ironically written in a note taped under my desk. When Matt Lubrano was cleaning out his desk during my first day as SBP, Matt found a note from Steve written for a future Student Body President. It read:

     Steve was right- time certainly did fly by. College went so fast, to be honest. But let’s focus on that last word for a second: Smile (We’ll save the “stay humble” line for another blog post).

      I am happy that I had someone that would write a note under my desk and occasionally call and remind me to smile and look on the bright side of things. I read a book once called “Change the Way You See Everything,” a super-quick read (maybe an hour at absolute tops) that I strongly encourage everyone to check out. It talks about how, everyday, you can choose to look at the glass half-full or half-empty, and that decision dictates your entire day. This positive, optimistic outlook on life is called ABT, short for Asset-based thinking. The book argues that to live a life of ABT, you must always keep a Positive Mental Attitude, or PMA.

     Of course, keeping a PMA is, at times, hard. There are many situations when it is hard to think of the positives in a given situation; it is those toughest moments in life when we see who the real optimists are.

     Why should you keep a PMA? I want you to read the story below. I know it is a little long, but it is well worth the read. In the following story, it is clear why people want to be like “Michael,” who is a clear believer in ABT and keeps a PMA even through the toughest of situations.  And you can be just like Michael, too. I know it is hard, but at the end of the day, being positive is one of the best attributes anyone can have. Just remember to “Smile.” 

Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”

Michael replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or … you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood…..

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or…I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or… I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.

“Yes, it is,” Michael said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live your life.” !

I reflected on what Michael said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?” I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

“The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,” Michael replied. “Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or…I could choose to die. I chose to live.”

“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.

Michael continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read ‘he’s a dead man’. I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Michael. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes, I replied.’ The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Gravity’.”

Over their laughter, I told them, “I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude… I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ~Matthew 6:34.

After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!


     I want to thank you all for stopping by and reading my blog. I am not entirely sure where exactly this project is going to go, but I do have some ideas for starters: I hope to share some of the great stories and lessons I have learned over the years with the world wide web. I have always found the concept of a blog interesting, and I love reading the blogs of others, as well. But why did I choose to start a blog now?

     During my last Board of Trustees meeting at Marist College, I was sitting with my normal “pre-meeting” crew, which included Justin Butwell (Director of Physical Plant), Sean Kaylor (Vice President of Enrollment) and Connie McCaffrey (Director of Housekeeping). We were talking for over an hour and laughing hysterically as usual. We started to talk and reminisce about the past year, and how crazy the last two semesters of my college career have been. Connie, who has been a dedicated employee of Marist College for the past 32 years, said that I should really start writing everything down so I would never forgot some of the stories I have heard and lessons I have learned over the course of the last year. She was kind enough to get me a journal for my graduation so I could remember everything years from now. I started writing some things in it, and I said to myself, “geez, I wish I could share some of these awesome stories with other people.” Then it hit me: start a blog, and here I am today!

     For a quick disclaimer, I do not know how often I am going to update this blog. I am hoping to post bi-weekly, although we all know how life sometime gets in the way of planning.  (More on that topic in a future blog post.)

     One last thing- you might be wondering why I chose to name this blog Don’t Pump the Brakes. Now, some people out there probably already know exactly what this title refers to, but I really want everyone else to figure it out. I think it is pretty straightforward, but there is a great story behind the title that I will share at some point down the line.

     I have a lot more to share with you all, but I did not want my first blog post to be too long. As my friend Tim Massie would say, you should always leave your audience wanting more…